


The Poison i Need

by a_bad_poem



Series: Kakavege Week 10 (2021) [4]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: M/M, Secret agents AU, Vegeta is kinda ooc, flirty Goku, use of guns, what's canon?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-21 17:33:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30025335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_bad_poem/pseuds/a_bad_poem
Summary: A really messy AU in which Vegeta tries to hunt down a wanted criminal who has consistently escaped justice's grasp - and may very well be the only other one of his kind in existence.Kakavege Week 2021 ♥ Day 4 ♥ Secret Agents
Relationships: Kakavege - Relationship, Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: Kakavege Week 10 (2021) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2207388
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6
Collections: Kakavege week #10





	The Poison i Need

**Author's Note:**

> Is this even secret agents??? Idk. Is he a prince? Your guess. I'm going to pretend I made everything about canon messy and open-ended on purpose, so that you, the reader, can create your own story! Or something.

“I know you’re new to this position, Vegeta, but you’re actually just in time. You see, there’s a suspect who’s been escaping my men for years. You may be a rookie but you’re skilled. I’m hoping you’ll be able to catch him for us.”

Vegeta nodded determinedly. “I won’t let you down.”

He’d received the file and opened it that night to a picture of a rather innocent-looking man. That hair sure didn’t help him blend in. He read through the papers. A man who remained unnamed, who pulled off heist after heist - seemingly alone. The more Vegeta read, the more his hairs stood on ends. Because it sounded like this man was like him. Eye-witness testimonies of impossible feats that other detectives wrote off as trauma or distorted memories. Jumping roofs without equipment, appearing from one agent to another in a second and disarming and knocking them both out in the next, taking bullets of all kinds straight-on.

You see, Vegeta wasn’t an ordinary man. He’d come from a race of great warriors called Saiyans. Their home had been destroyed while Vegeta had happened to be off-site on a simple scoping mission to find out if one planet or another was worth taking over. He'd returned to a shattered planet and eventually, after decades of playing a sort of mercenary role throughout space, lost and surviving and without much of a purpose, he’d stumbled across Earth. It was quiet. Humble. If you’d asked him years ago if he would stay here he would’ve laughed in your face and destroyed you along with the planet. But after decades of playing mercenary, well- you collected a lot of enemies. And Earth was the perfect unnoteworthy tiny blue planet to hide on. Maybe someday he would leave. But now- he had a reason to stay.

It took Vegeta months just to gather more intel and set up. First he had to catch up with the Saiyan. That required picking up his trail. Looking for patterns in his heists. It seemed he preferred art and museum material over jewels or money straight-up, though that was probably what he ended up trading his goods in for. That was one thing that stumped Vegeta. _Why_ was he even doing this? Was he really getting money for what he stole? Drugs? Sex? Nothing tipped him off one way or another, not even by gut instinct. Maybe it was because he was a Saiyan, or at least Vegeta was convinced of such before even seeing him for himself. After all, what use did Saiyans have of money and goods? Or maybe that was the mercenary talking. It was hard to tell sometimes, since Vegeta had been young when his race, and culture with it, had been destroyed. Being a mercenary was almost as core to him as being a Saiyan.

He supposed the bigger question, really, was _how_ did he even get here?

Then, he had to get a step ahead of him. Which was where Vegeta was now, waiting in the next museum the nameless Saiyan planned to rob. He suppressed his ki. Though he’d asked the higher-ups to go alone, they wouldn't let him. Vegeta hadn’t wanted to push and seem suspicious, so now he was stuck with five armed clowns who would only slow him down, three around him on the support beams up near the ceiling and out of sight so they could have a bird’s eye view of the main part of the museum. Bullets wouldn’t work. He knew that. He knew it wasn’t just a trick of the eye or some sort of armour. 

Sure enough, the Saiyan showed up decked out in black clothing, but nothing to cover his face. Vegeta narrowed his eyes. Yeah. He could feel it. The energy coming off him… Even though it had been decades since he had felt the presence of another one, Vegeta was even more certain he was a Saiyan now, seeing him in person. He leaned forward without meaning to, his hairs standing up much like they had the first night he'd read the file. Immediately he had his attention, wide-eyed and expectant. 

As Vegeta held his breath the other Saiyan came in one of the side doors, setting off an alarm without care. Vegeta had expected as much based on previous reports, so he’d told the museum security guards to buzz off for the night. Safe and out of the way. Instead, two of his men came out from behind displays, one on either side of the intruder. Vegeta had told them not to fire, knowing it would be pointless. They’d seemed unsure but agreed, at least during the briefing.

Goku smiled at them. “Hey guys! Do either of you know where I can find this?” he held up a printed-out photo of one of the artifacts housed in the museum.

Vegeta’s jaw almost fell open. It didn’t sound taunting, or like an intimidation tactic, or… or anything. He just sounded… genuine. His agents were startled too, glancing at each other in confusion before one of them said something about how they wouldn’t let him get his hands on it.

Goku frowned slightly and wrinkled his nose. “No help then, huh? That’s alright. I got all night to find it.” He moved forward, not stopping when Vegeta’s agents shouted at him to do so. “Sorry, but I gotta get this artifact.” As he got closer the men seemed to panic. One started firing and another followed right after. Like the testimonies, the man disappeared in a flash. Vegeta blinked, once, twice, maybe three times and both his men were on the ground, guns skidding across the floor. And not a scratch on their target.

In that moment, he didn’t know what he felt. There was another one! Another Saiyan after all! He felt the three other men shift behind him and he held up a fist, shaking his head. Not now. _Let me go on ahead_ , he signalled. _Be very quiet._ If this guy really was a Saiyan, his hearing would be greater than that of a human’s. 

Vegeta dropped down near-silently and crept after him. He watched him stroll by cameras without a care. The unnamed Saiyan hadn’t been joking about his question. He actually stopped at a couple of the maps the museum had of the place, scratching his head then starting off again.

Eventually, Vegeta steadily lifted his ki to its usual level and stepped out from the shadows. The Saiyan seemed to notice immediately, turning around with a sparkle in his eye. “You aren’t human.” He was cute, though.

“Neither are you,” Vegeta shot back, standing about 10 feet back from him. “What are you?”

He grinned at him. “A Saiyan. And you must be too, with a power level like that.”

Vegeta swallowed. He knew it. “If you think I’m going to fight you, I won’t.” Not with his agents around and cameras trained on them. He’d lose his job, his direct connection to this man - this Saiyan. He wouldn’t leave without knowing this guy’s story. “I just want to talk.”

The Saiyan pouted. “That’s boring. I haven’t had a good fight in ages. You looked fun. But if you’re not going to fight me then I’ll just be on my way.” He turned.

“Wait! What’s your name?” Vegeta asked. The one thing he decided to shout. He didn’t know why he wanted to know so badly. Maybe because no one else knew. Maybe he just wanted to make sure he was a real Saiyan.

The Saiyan turned back, a boyish grin on his face. “Kakarot. Don’t tell anyone else, okay? That name’s just for you,” he winked, then was down the hallway in a blink.

“Shit,” Vegeta cursed, racing after him - at a human pace. But he’d studied the museum and he knew where the artifact was, and Kakarot didn’t. He heard glass breaking and more alarms blaring, entering the room a moment later to see Kakarot picking up the artifact carefully. He glanced back at Vegeta. 

“If you don’t fight me, I’m going to get away with this.” He was still fucking smiling! Vegeta couldn’t believe this. It was like all of this was just a game to him.

Vegeta’s hand twitched, but the gun strapped to his side was useless. 

Kakarot shrugged and darted over to the window, the whole thing shattering with his movement.

Vegeta flinched, as if waking up from a dream. He reached up to turn on the radio in his ear. “Shit! Suspect escaping out the window!” He’d prepared for that, too, with a ground team. But that wasn’t of help either.

Kakarot floated just above window level, just out of arm’s reach. He bent forward, sticking his tongue out at Vegeta. “Sorry, babe. I’m normally all for handcuffs, but tonight’s just bad for me,” he cooed. “You understand,” he added, waving the artifact. “Call me?”

Vegeta stared up at him, jaw open. He was- fucking _flirting_ with him?! He heard his men burst trampling, approaching the area.

“Whoops. That’s my cue. Bye.” Another wink and Kakarot took off like a rocket, across the sky in mere seconds.

“Sir!” One of Vegeta’s men shouted, the lot of them including the two who had been knocked out entering and falling into one of their strategic positions. Upon seeing that the suspect was already gone, their energy lowered.

That had been Vegeta’s first experience with the only other Saiyan alive. Every encounter afterwards had been similar. Kakarot, not caring about the cameras or guns or _anything_ and Vegeta, pulled in by him and unable to use his abilities lest he be found out and destroyed the only real structure he’d ever known in his life. In a way, it sort of gave him purpose, more than just taking orders from whoever happened to need him, whether it was a green slug alien or an older, tight-lipped human male. A cat-and-mouse game that was running now for nearly 8 months.

Finally, Vegeta had managed to get Kakarot alone. Mostly by chance. It was a stormy night, so the power was out, including the cameras. It was pitch black and in the confusion, the men he’d been forced to bring along, as usual, had either lost Vegeta and Kakarot or been knocked out.

Vegeta’s eyes were still adjusting to the darkness, but he could sense Kakarot clearly across the room. “Kakarot!” He shouted angrily.

“Do you remember when we first met, Geets?” With a tone like that, they may as well be in a damned coffee shop chatting over some fucking biscuits.

Vegeta scowled. One of those nicknames Kakarot _knew_ got on his nerves. “Why?”

“I called you boring. And I was right. But you’re also fun. It’s fun, watching you run around after me, like you’re obsessed with me.”

Vegeta snarled. “I’m not obsessed with you.” He moved forward slowly, his guard up. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, ‘Geta. I like you too,” Kakarot said shyly, close enough to a schoolgirl confessing her crush that Vegeta’s cheeks burned.

“Then why won’t you just talk to me? Outside of this? Saiyan to Saiyan?”

“Because even now, with the cameras out and your men across the museum, you’re afraid to use your powers because you’re afraid to get caught.”

In the next instant Vegeta felt Kakarot breathing down his neck. He flinched, whirling and swinging his fist half-blind. Kakarot caught it. “But I like you because we’re alike, you know. We’re so similar, Vegeta, except you’re _boring_.”

Vegeta grit his teeth. “What do you want from m- mmf!” His eyes widened, his wrist slackening almost entirely as Kakarot pressed his lips into his. Vegeta didn’t know how long they’d stood there before Kakarot slowly pulled back, but his eyes never closed a centimeter and he didn’t make any move to return the action.

Vegeta blinked once they’d parted, eyes more adjusted to the darkness now as Kakarot’s sparkling ones locked onto him. “W-why did you…” He flushed, snatching his hand away with a snarl as reality came back to him. “I’m sick of your games! Is that why you did that, just to toy with me some more?”

Kakarot giggled. Even in the darkness, even as a criminal, even as he infuriated Vegeta time and time again, he still shone like sunlight. “No, Vegeta,” he said with a warm smile. “That’s not it at all.”

Then he did two things Vegeta had never seen him do before.

  1. He put two fingers up to his forehead, and disappeared in a blur.
  2. He left without stealing what he’d come to steal.




End file.
